I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
