She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
