Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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