big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
