I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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