if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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