Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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