:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
