Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
