i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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