Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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