I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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