Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
