don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
