four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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