Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
