You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
