All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
