Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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