Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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