Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
