I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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