I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
