grandma shit on top of the toilet
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
