Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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