i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
