oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I intend to get homeless drunk
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
