god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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