dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
