I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize