Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
