He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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