At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
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It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.