Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize