if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything