belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
