So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
