During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
