He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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