I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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