the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize