I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
