And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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