If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize