her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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