Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
you never un-have a 4some
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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