I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
