Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
