Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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