She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I need moral support for this bender
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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