OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
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I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
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I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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