i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
