saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
