It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
