we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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