I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
