its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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