I heard we made out
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize