i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I believe in your delicious
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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