Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize