I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize