so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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