We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
