Me. At least after what I've been through.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He felt like a one man threesome
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
