me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
